Frequently Asked Questions

What is this comic about?
A Girl and Her Fed (AGAHF) is the story of a nameless Girl who finds that she is being watched by government agents. She and the Fed assigned to watch her form a partnership and attempt to untangle a knotty conspiracy.
Why does the strip lack certain details?
Such as:

(1) Why don't the Girl and the Fed have names?
(2) Is the Fed in the FBI, the CIA, or some other agency?
(3) Where does this take place?
(4) (my personal favorite) Oh my God, why don't they have eyes?

Some of these details are intentionally excluded because I don't want to represent any specific person or organization; others were initially omitted because I started the comic with no artistic skills at all and gradually added the details as I improved. And they do have names. Readers should treat the comic as an illustrated book from which a new page is released three to five times a week, so please keep in mind that books don't answer every question as it is asked - it's a long-term project so if there's something that isn't immediately resolved, it will probably be answered later. For example, we've learned that the Fed started his career in a top-secret government delivery service called the Post Office.
I have a problem with This, or That, or The Other, because it is wrong in the comic and does not happen like that in Real Life.
Problems with factual accuracy should be directed to the talking koala.
What is the story reboot? Why are you changing things?
The story reboot begins here and revises the art and content of the original black-and-white strips. The original strips were saved in 72dpi, which is not suitable for printing, and most of the original art is missing. It is also done to repair formatting errors such as pacing and misspellings (not to mention those disgusting walls of text in every other strip), and to remove confusing elements such as minor plot holes or character flaws that emerged at the beginning before I really understood the characters.

I know that some people like the original version better but listen, guys, life is a process. I had no idea how to draw when I started the comic, and the story wobbles because the characters aren't consistent. These are mistakes. Mistakes can and should be fixed.

---Please do not email me about the story reboot. ---
Where is your Cast Page?
There are four main characters: a Girl, a Fed, the ghost of Benjamin Franklin, and a koala bear named Speedy.

The Girl (AKA: Hope Blackwell): A woman in her mid-twenties, independently wealthy (thanks to Ben and gaming the stock market), is "employed" as an intern at a newspaper where she has an antagonistic relationship with her boss, and is pretty darned good at judo. She has a close relationship with Ben, having bonded with him seven years previously: it is only after meeting the Fed that she realizes Ben is actually a ghost and not a drug-related flashback.
Benjamin Franklin: While we know plenty about Ben Franklin the man, not much is known about Ben Franklin the ghost and he wants to keep it that way. He's tight-lipped about the Afterlife and thinks the living should stay out of the affairs of the dead. Apparently, Ben doesn't feel the same restrictions apply towards the dead themselves, as he was the one who put the Girl on a watchlist.
The Fed (AKA: Patrick "Pat" Mulcahy): A large man in his early thirties who has spent the last five years in a psychological and emotional fog thanks to the Pocket President. He is one of five hundred federal agents who participated in an experimental data networking program, and has only recently been able to shake off some of the negative effects of the Pocket President. He's now wondering why so many of the other agents in the Pocket President program have simply up and died...
Speedy: A genetically-engineered koala who is exceptionally good at problem-solving, particularly language-based problems. He was befriended by the Fed and his mentor, Rose, eight years ago.

Mike, Josh, Helen, and Rose are minor characters:
Mike: A master martial artist and practitioner of zen Buddhism. He also sees ghosts, and he recognized the same ability in the Girl several years before the story begins.
Josh: Another agent in the Pocket President program and a good friend of the Fed's.
Helen: The mysterious housewife.
Rose Myers: The Fed's mentor and former boss. In 1972, Rose was hired to clean up some of J. Edgar Hoover's more embarrassing mistakes. Following this, she started the Global Services Administration, a delivery service for the Intelligence sector. As the packages the GSA handles tend to be furious or ticking, its agents have the skills and training to make sure that these packages get delivered with the bare minimum of fuss. Rose was training the Fed to be her replacement and has a bone to pick with the head of the Pocket President Program. She has since left government service and operates a freelance agency for mercenaries, with on-site daycare and recreational activities for the community's children.

There are also some bad guys too, but we don't know much about them yet. Here's what we do know:
The Pocket President (AKA: Bitty Bush, Damned Bitty Bush, The-Fucking-Thing-That-Lives-In-My-Skull, etc.): A personal digital assistant hardwired directly into the user's brain. It automatically loads when its host experiences certain emotional states, such as doubt, and can be manually activated to search any number of databases at a prompt from its user. The Pocket President was designed to improve communications for undercover field agents who couldn't carry phones, computers, or other equipment, but rumor has it that the device has another, secret purpose.
Agent 146/Clarice Finch: An agent in the Pocket President program. She does not suffer the negative side effects of the chip to the same extent as the other agents.
Rudy: An agent in the Pocket President program who does most of Agent 146's dirty work. Unlike Agent 146, he does not enjoy it.
Asst. Director Richard Smithback: The head of the Pocket President program. He meets with some very unusual friends behind closed doors ...
Why Benjamin Franklin? Don't you know that [Any Founding Fathers Name] would be a better choice?
There are plot-related reasons for choosing Franklin.
Why is Speedy so mean/sex-crazed? Don't you know koalas have thumbs?
Koalas have an excellent publicist. They might be adorable but koalas, particularly male koalas, have a vicious streak if they aren't allowed to remain in their natural habitat (high up in a familiar tree and either eating or sleeping). Koalas of both genders will hump anything that moves. Speedy isn't a fuzzy miniature human being; he is an animal who is very intelligent and able to talk. He is a full-grown male Queensland koala in the prime of life, and he's just being true to his nature.

You shouldn't feel the need to send me anything about lesbian koalas or oversexed koalas or anything else related to koalas and their sex lives - I'm perfectly happy knowing that they are perfectly happy without knowing the specifics. As for the thumbs? I'm sorry to have to bring this up but Speedy isn't real.
Why draw a comic strip about civil rights?
It makes for a wonderful story. There are a lot of things about living in America that we identify as ever-present and unchanging, and our civil rights are one of them. I should also point out that I thought up the idea while extremely pissed off at U.S. Customs for going through my international mail.
Okay, the mail thing is creepy, but why do a political strip at all? No one likes stuff like this.
The same reason that other folks base their strips off of video games, werewolves, or music. The current political environment interests me and I saw the potential for a story in it.
Why did you write an anti-Bush strip?
It's not. In retrospect, I should have chosen to use Richard Nixon as the face of the Pocket President. Big mistake on my part. Huge. But what's done is done (I really liked the way the phrase "Bitty Bush" sounded and I'd confuse things too much if I stripped it out of the redone version) and I'll go on the record here by saying that the Pocket President is not the former president. While Ben Franklin is the honest-to-goshen ghost of Benjamin Franklin, the Pocket President is nothing but a computer program.
I've sent you a political article via email. Why didn't you discuss it?
I don't talk about my personal politics in the Notes section. They aren't relevant to the story. I do appreciate any articles you send to me, and I read (and usually enjoy) them.
Why did you rip off "The Dark Knight?"
Check the date stamp in the title of the comic. I introduced the idea of using ambient technology as a form of sonar in February of 2008, five months before The Dark Knight opened. It might be found in other works of fiction and could actually exist somewhere out there, but I don't know of these and I put it in the story long before the movie.
I have an idea for the comic!
Thank you kindly but the plot for the comic is already planned.